Saturday, 13 January 2018

Woman Plans To Marry Video Game After Her Failed Relationship With A Calculator

For 20 year old Noorul Mahjabeen Hassan, who prefers to be known as Fractal Tetris Huracan, that’s Tetris, the puzzle game she’s been in a relationship with for over a year.

Fractal identifies as an objectum sexual – which means she’s attracted to inanimate objects, started her relationship with Tetris back in September 2016, and now spends up to twelve hours a day playing it on websites, her phone, and her Gameboy.

Naturally, it is an intimate relationship. Fractal says she sleeps with Tetris and enjoys a physical relationship with Tetris themed objects, including Tetris hard drives and cushions.

‘Part of the relationship is the satisfaction I get from clearing the lines and clearing them as quickly as possible,’ explains Fractal.

‘I prefer using a special site called Sprint which is clearing lines as fast as possible. My score is 49.53 seconds.

‘I think Tetris is so beautiful, he is about perfection and he stimulates your mind. Physically I get that feeling that people in relationships get – that you know they are the right one.

I love him so much and get an immense sense of satisfaction with him. I have a strong connection with him and have invested so much in him.’

Fractal shows her devotion to Tetris with a Tetris necklace, Tetris-shaped lamps dotted around her room, Tetris T-shirts, Tetris magnets, and rare Tetris hard drive editions that friends have bought for her, which she now sleeps with.

Fractal plans to get married to Tetris once she graduates, with a commitment ceremony with friends in attendance.

‘I want to say I’m married to Tetris and have a legitimate ceremony,’ says Fractal. ‘I want everybody to be there.

‘I feel like that would be an official thing which would set it in stone and say “I love you and want to prove it to you” by making it permanent and calling myself Mrs Tetris.’

Fractal, once fell in love with a TI-NSpire CX calculator, which she named Pierre De Fermat after a famous mathematician.

She was 16 at the time and even took the gadget to the school prom.

“I was so in love with Pierre, I can’t describe how much I was in love, it was indescribably strong.

“I took him to my prom and I just felt an explosion inside me like a wild fire was raging in my heart.

She said: “I was cleaning him one time and he short circuited. I had the most indescribable break down when he wouldn’t work.

“I lost him and had to get a new Pierre, I did not believe Pierre’s consciousness extended across. This one did not feel the same as the original Pierre.”

Her unusual crushes and relationships have seen her receive abusive comments with people saying she is not ‘normal’, and referring to her as an “autistic freak”.

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